well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
