sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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