it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
