MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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