I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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