so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
