Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
