That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you had me at cake vodka
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
