it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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