White coat. Heels.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
