I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I love you. Go after that dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
