try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
