they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
