you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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