just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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