Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
