I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
