you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The uberlube is also flammable
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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