Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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