My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
