R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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