You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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