I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I touched a dick in church today
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
