My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
