and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
