I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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