# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
