I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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