'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
