Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Who died my cat blue again?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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