and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
