is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
