Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
