How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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