fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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