Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
