bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You ate ashes out of my bong
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
