Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
