All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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