that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
