She is in my trunk
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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