my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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