u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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