I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
