Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
