She announced her abortion via fbk
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
