i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
