I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
