I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
