I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
